What to do if he does not want sex!

“Not now, honey, I have a headache” this is the way women used to refuse sex thus making their husbands angry. The situation has changed. Now husbands make such or similar excuses to avoid lovemaking.

Stress, tiredness, polluted environment, fast-food – all these things do affect libido, so his unwillingness to make love to you is quite natural, especially if you live in a big city. But what can you do if you have to accept such excuses nearly every day? What to do if you need sex more than him?

Why doesn't he want sex?

In fact, there is a great number of reasons for low sex drive.

First of all, low libido might be caused by the man's age, if he is older than thirty. Unfortunately, unlike female sex drive, male libido weakens with the increase of years. Men begin feeling sexual desire earlier than women, and most of all they need sex at the age of 18-20, whereas women experience the highest sex drive at about 35.

Lack of physical activity, overconsumption of alcohol and smoking also do not contribute to high sex drive.

May be he had a disease that affects potency?

May be the reason is even simpler. You might have different sexual desire. Partners with similar level of sex drive need equal amount of sex and have harmonious sexual relationships.

Couples where both partners have strong sex drive make love daily. Those who have an average sexual desire have sex 3-4 times a week. Those who have low sex drive make love once a week or even rarer. All these situations are variations of the norm.

Put up with the situation, but do not retreat

Psychiatrists and sex therapists say that even those couples where one of the partners has a higher libido than the other can be happy and can have harmonious sexual relationships. The main thing is to realize that this harmony requires a great deal of efforts.

First of all you should realize that you should not blame your partner of your dissatisfaction. Conflicts only aggravate the situation. Fights cause stress and weaken sexual desire.

First of all you should reconcile yourself to the fact that you need sex much more than your partner and that you will not have as much sex as you need. You don't want your husband to make love to you unwillingly, don't you?

Does he want sex only once a week? OK, let it be once a week, but in this case it should be fantastic! You both should get ready for this event and try to make this night unforgettable. Rare, but enormously enjoyable sex has its advantages, as it turns from something as usual as teeth brushing, into a real miracle.

One more advantage is that you do not get feed up with your partner, and he does not get feed up with you. Your feelings are always fresh, you will have plenty of new, untested sensations and feelings. Who knows, may be he will want to enjoy this miracle more often.

Turn back hot nights

He used to be very hot at the beginning of your romance, but now that you are staying together for many years, he does not seem to want you as much as he used to. What can you do about this matter? Make five steps towards sexual harmony!

Step one

Be sincere with yourself. Do you really need more sex with your partner? May be you are simply worried by the fact that you do not make love whole nights long as you used to when you just met each other? The fact is that women often take sex for expression of feelings. You do not need much sex, but you want your partner to want you so as to be sure he loves you.

Is this situation familiar to you? Stop worrying! Think carefully whether you really lack sex or you need more attention and care.

Step two

You both experience discomfort. Do discuss the situation. Try to answer the questions: why he does not want you as much as he used to, when he began experiencing lack of sex drive and what caused it. Let each of you describe his/her point of view on the situation. Keep in mind that discussing a problem is half of its solution. Such a conversation will help to relieve worry and nervousness. Negative emotions is one of the factors that decrease sexual desire.

Step three

Now you should make sure that your partner's health is in order. Low sex drive might be a part of a physical or a psychosomatic disease. For instance a person who suffers from depression or some other psychosomatic disorders, experiences apathy and worry. He becomes explosive and very touchy. Do advice your partner to visit his physician.

Step four

Did you come to the conclusion that low sex drive is caused by monotony since sex became boring? In such situations women often think of finding another man who would satisfy her desires.

First of all you should make a list of your partner's good qualities and carefully think whether his advantages mean more than lack of sex. If you decided to stay with your partner you should try to refresh your sexual relationships.

New positions, new places for lovemaking, sex toys, role play, role changing – there is an enormous number of ways to refresh feelings and to add charm of novelty. You can surprise and inspire each other!

Step five

Your partner should know what you like and what you dislike in bed. Only in this case your relationships will be harmonious. Be sincere with each other. Trust and sincerity are the main conditions of good relationships, both interpersonal and sexual.